He can't take teasing from others and has other meltdowns when his pride is hurt and feels humiliated.
However 90% of the time he is a lovely boy and everyone says so, he charms all the therapists he sees. All my friends are genuinely shocked that he gets into trouble including those that we have holidayed with and have therefore spent substantial time with him but the truth is that he does have the worst kind of meltdowns, where he cannot be calmed or reasoned with by anyone. He will cry, scream, shout, swear, kick, throw chairs, tear up his own work as well as wall displays in school. He hates everyone when he's in that zone but does struggle to accept responsibility. He understands the anger is wrong but feels he was justified by whatever passed before. These episodes vary in frequency, there can be a flurry of them in a week but months can pass without incident.
Over the past 4 years he has had learning mentors, education psychologist, child behavorists, counselors and occupational therapists but of course when they see him it's never a situation he's got a problem with. Even class observations have been a waste because it's not all the time. I felt the overload of people talking to him started to have a very detrimental and damaging effect emotionally, he became very unhappy, felt that he was a "freak". He started to struggle in how to behave in social settings. He wouldn't play at parties. He became worried about how to handle things because he was getting into so much trouble and with them all asking him about his feelings he started to feel that his feelings must matter above others. He was excluded from school on numerous occasions for 1 - 5 days at a time.
I have been back to my GP and asked to be referred back to CAMPHS but how do I ensure he gets the correct diagnosis and help? Is anger overload accepted in the UK? Do you think that is what it is? I don't want him to get the wrong diagnosis and not get the correct therapy. So often the experts discuss his low self esteem but I don't think that's the case - he is aware of what he is good at but also what he's not so good at. He wants to do well at school as he has a dream job ( Lego designer!) in mind.
I'm so frightened that my son, who isn't a hard street wise kid is going to be sent to a referral unit if this happens again because the school understandably cannot cope with these outbursts and they are concerned for the other children when it happens. I feel that time is running out to get him the correct help but the experts brought in so far seem to be on the wrong track and it's wasting precious time.